too cross to write

I haven't talked much on this blog about the beginnings of my time here. Let me fill you in.

The thing that bothers me the most about Corrymeela is that it is marketed as something completely different than what it actually is. I would call this hypocrisy. Others would call it good marketing skills. My previous perception of Corrymeela was this place (with an almost magically quality to it) where people came and discussed the important issues surrounding the Northern Irish conflict. The staff, the volunteers, and the visitors were of course working with people and families who had been severely effected by the Troubles. Helping them through art and discussion etc to work through their issues.

I would say that this impression happens about 20% of the time. The rest of the time, the volunteers are working their butts off to cater to every whim of every visitor. Why do we cater? Because "we" want them to come back. Why do "we" want them to come back? Because they give "us" money. Money money money. Corrymeela is marketed to the groups that come through as this spectacular place with such a vision for peace and reconciliation and openness as a way of bringing more people in so they can pay the bills.

Those higher up in the Corrymeela system put so much emphasis on welcoming visitors and how it's the volunteers' duty to make people feel happy and accepted and welcomed, but no one bothers to think about the volunteers. When I first arrived, I was dropped off at my room and told "This is Jessica, she's your roommate. She'll show you where the linens are" and POOF all disappear. When I tried to speak with one of the volunteer coordinators about my frustration with the lack of welcome and feeling as if I didn't belong, I was told that they don't have enough time to do it themselves. It's not easy to find your place when no one really tells you what is going on or where to go or what to do. And all the other volunteers are busy doing what is asked of them that they don't have the energy to talk to the new person. There are two new midtermers here who have been put on the list for fire cover (those are the people who are supposed to respond to a fire alarm) but haven't been trained.

My solace has been the friendships I have made. That has been what makes it worth it. Having fun while working with the other volunteers is the best part about what I do here. Chatting with your group or finding out that the 10 year old Derry girl likes the same music as you. Playing jokes on other volunteers with the kitchen staff. The gold of Corrymeela is the people.